How To Manage Disobedience In Children !

Having children at home is an amazing experience but at the same time, it can be stressful at times. And if children start behaving disobediently it becomes much more stressful for parents of course not all children are disobedient neither does a child always behave disobediently.

Disobedience means not doing what someone with authority tells you to do. Children exhibit disobedience by either refusing to listen to whatever they are told or doing the opposite of what is being told. To parents, it may seem that children are willingly behaving this way or they are trying to irritate you. But it is important to remember that they are not trying to make the situation difficult for you.

Of course, we all try to handle these situations in our own ways some parents yell at the children or scold them. Some try some kind of punishment; some even beat the children sometimes. Few people think that when the child grows up, he will learn good behaviors by himself and this disobedience will vanish gradually.

Before we learn the strategies to handle disobedience in children it’s important to know that saying “No” is an important part of a Child's social development. From around the age of 15 months, a child starts saying “no”. Many children almost systematically challenge everything that the parent say or ask them to do. It can be frustrating but remember they are trying to learn how their behavior or response affects their surrounding environment. At this age, they just learn and this learning helps them develop their independence and strengthen their character.

The best way to manage this behavior is with patience and understanding. This behavior should be managed as early as possible.

1. Motivate Your Child :

Children don’t have fun out of being disobedient. The problem is that they either don't know how to behave in any other way in that situation or they don't know the benefits of doing so. Parents need to motivate children and explain to them that what they are being told to do has certain benefits for them and their surroundings.

For example, if the child is screaming and crying and being disobedient, we can tell them to stop crying and say what they want to say so that they can be heard. Screaming or crying makes it difficult to understand what they want to say.

2. Act Immediately and with Patience :

It can be challenging but with patience, we can manage this kind of behavior. It’s not going to happen overnight; children may take a little time to learn and apply the new behavior that you are trying to teach them. Do not put it off. It isn’t right to think that this behavior Is going to change by itself.

For example, when a child is being disobedient, bring yourself to his/her height, make eye contact, use a calm but firm voice and tell him/her that this behavior is inappropriate. This needs to be done immediately and not after a few hours or days.

3. Establish a Routine :

It’s crucial to establish a routine to avoid unexpected disobedient behavior. When a routine is followed children are emotionally prepared for the activities for the day.

They will be prepared for the next activity and so on. Children Need to understand rules boundaries and responsibility, and an organized routine helps them to do so.

4. Setting Boundaries :

It is very important to set rules and boundaries. Children in the developmental stage should be given clear guidelines. It is good to talk to children and explain to them that there are some rules to be followed or what kind of behavior is being expected from them and the benefits of behaving so.

Of course, it’s possible that parents need to explain these things to the children more than once but every time clear instructions are necessary. It’s not enough to just say “don’t do this or don’t do that”, we need to give them clear instructions on the appropriate behavior.

5. Reinforce Good Behavior :

Research shows that punishment gives rise to defiant or undesirable behavior. Positive reinforcement and rewarding good behavior encourage them to behave properly.

It is not required to give gifts or material prizes as rewards. But just hugging them sometimes or just appreciating them would encourage them to repeat the good behavior.

Children want attention, they like to participate. It’s important that everyone in the family properly communicates with the children. If the disobedient behavior persists even after trying these techniques you can always approach for professional help.